"THE MONKEES IN TEXAS"

Synopsis:

The Monkees pull up to a house in a desert setting, driving a golf cart instead of the Monkeemobile, after a long 3-days on the road. Once they disembark the cart, Michael explains to Peter, and the audience, that they’re in Texas at his Aunt Kate’s house, whom he last visited way back in Spring of 1954! The Monkees then hear gunfire and duck for cover. Two women in 19th-century Western attire arrive on horses and scurry into her house, and Michael identifies one of them as his aunt. Three masked men in black arrive and shoot at the women while The Monkees run inside to help Michael's aunt. The women shoot rifles out the window at the bandits as the Monkees enter the little green house. Aunt Kate greets Mike briefly and tells the Monkees to “grab a rifle.” Of course they all try to grab the same rifle. Aunt Kate clarifies that there’s one for each of them on the rack. There’s a Marx-brothers type scramble when Peter keeps putting the guns back on the rack as the others try to hand them out. The Monkees wind up cocking invisible guns. As the younger woman, Lucy, gives them one of those “funniest looks from everyone we meet,” The Cool Quartet try again, and each shows off their weapon: Micky, “Winchester 73,” David, “Colt 45,” Michael, “Smith and Wesson, 38.” Except Peter, who takes an anti-violence stance, wields a bottle of champagne, “Vintage ‘66.”

The Monkees help defend the house, except Peter uses a finger gun and “fires” by saying “bang-bang-bang!” Peter explains to David, “Well, I hate violence. Besides, I have more shells than you.” The lead bandit asks, “Have you had enough, nesters?” Michael corrects them, “The name is Nesmith!,”. Aunt Kate corrects Michael that “nester” means farmer, so Mike politely allows the bandit to go on. The bandits open fire at the house and Micky comments, “they’re throwing everything at us but the kitchen sink!” As if on cue, the bandits roll an actual flaming sink at the house! David runs outside and turns the faucet on in the sink dousing the flames with water from the otherwise unconnected sink, and thus saving the day. The bad men realize there is firepower in there and flee. The Monkees celebrate and the women stare at them incredulously; Lucy halts their celebration, “I wouldn’t be too happy about that, they’ll be back.” Micky, Peter, and David are all but too eager to leave Aunt Kate’s now that the gunfight is over, but Michael insists that they stay for family loyalty and bravery etc. but mostly because the bandits “killed our golf cart.” Micky and Peter go to get some help; Kate advises them to look more “Western” so they’ll fit in better, as they don’t take kindly to strangers.

Aunt Kate tells Michael that Black Bart has been attempting to get her land for about a year. Michael introduces Kate to David and then realizes he doesn’t know Lucy, the younger woman. She takes off her bonnet and flusters Mike with a shake of her long blonde hair, giving Michael the setup to act comically awkward. Meanwhile in town, Micky and Peter disguise themselves as “The Lone Stranger” and “Pronto,” to blend in with the townsfolk. Peter is unsure of his outfit, as he should be since they both look like they’re wearing little kid’s Halloween costumes, but Micky reassures Peter that he looks very “psychedelic” because of the peace symbol and beads. They enter the Marshall’s office and explain the trouble at Nesmith’s ranch, but the Marshall tells them he’s unavailable to help because he’s busy shooting his own TV series, and then has an Emmy dinner that night (he's nominated for an award!). He instead suggests they go to a saloon and hire some outlaws, as he does the same thing whenever he needs a posse! Back at the ranch, David spots three men riding towards the house and warns the others. However, Kate identifies the men as friends: The Cartwheels, Ben, who owns half the valley, and his sons Mule and Little Moe. Ben orders David to water his horse, which he does literally by using a watering can! He then asks Kate to sell out to him so she won't have to worry about Black Bart and his gang, but she rebukes his offer.

Micky and Peter go to the saloon and ask for men with prices on their heads and the bartender points to three men who do (literally). They are spotted by Red and Sneak and Micky explains he wants hired guns. One thing leads to another, and before either knows what's happened, Micky unwittingly agrees to be inducted into Black Bart's posse. At the ranch, Kate explains about her cattle dying because of some filthy dirt on her ranch; Michael takes a sample of the dirt to town to be analyzed. While at Black Bart's hangout, as Micky and Red play cards waiting for the boss (Peter, who looks on, unintentionally ruins Micky's strategy by calling Red's bluff), Sneak informs Red that there's one guy left at Kate's ranch and now is the time to strike, Red says they will, upon Bart's return. Micky sends Peter to warn Kate and Red threatens to kill him if Peter isn't back in 10 minutes! At Aunt Kate's ranch, Peter brings his horse into her kitchen (nobody was at the barn) and warns them of the imminent attack; Kate sends David to The Cartwheels for help. David rides over to the Cartwheel place on horseback backwards to inform Ben of Bart's plans. Meanwhile at the saloon, Michael arrives and goes to the assayer who's also the bartender that the dirt contains the highest grade of black gold: b.k.a. crude oil! Black Bart returns to his henchmen in his hideout and demands to know which one of them is a traitor for going over to the Nesmith ranch to give a warning; Red and Sneak point to Peter, "the Injun!" Peter tries to escape, but he is trapped and Micky is ordered to kill him. He is unable to bring himself to do so, blowing his cover, and they are immediately covered.

At the Nesmith ranch, Michael attempts to contact John Wayne by phone; given a rifle by Aunt Kate, he and David prepare for another imminent attack. Meanwhile, outside, Micky and Peter, in desperado gear, secretly listen in on Black Bart, Red and Sneak plotting to give Kate one final chance to sell out or kill her out-and-out and fake her signature on the mortgage. Convinced well beyond the shadow of a doubt that Black Bart and Ben Cartwheel are one and the same, Micky and Peter ride off to the Nesmith ranch to warn David, Michael, Kate and Lucy about Black Bart's attack and of his true identity. Bart and his cronies follow not too far behind, and a see-saw musical battle set to "Words" ensues, with The Monkees defeating the bad guys in black one by one, driving them away for good, and the ranch is saved. But again, a still-skeptical Lucy halts their celebration, saying “I wouldn’t be too happy about that, they’ll be back.”

Tag Sequence:

Micky Dolenz performs an alternate take of "Goin' Down" alone on a dark stage in multiple versions and different colored lights as he dances and sings, under a swath of superimposed saxophones, trombones and guitars.

The original Screen Gems Storyline for "The Monkees In Texas" had Micky and Peter sobbing in each other's arms after the former refused to kill the latter. A see-saw battle then ensues, with The Monkees knocking off the bad guys in black one by one and Black Bart unmasked -- as Ben Cartwheel!

The 1967 remake of Boyce & Hart's "Words" makes its first appearance in a first-run episode of The Monkees television series in "The Monkees In Texas"; previous appearances of the track had been in 3 redubbed 1967 summer repeats: "The Monkees In A Ghost Town" (July 17, 1967), "Monkee Chow Mein" (July 31, 1967), and "The Monkees On Tour" (August 21, 1967).

The piano rendition of "Auld Lang Syne" first used here is used again in Episode No. 56, "Some Like It Lukewarm" (a.k.a. "The Band Contest").

This is the first of 2 times a musical number occupied space of an entire tag sequence of a Monkees episode (in this case, "Goin' Down"); the second is in No. 57, "The Monkees Blow Their Minds" ("Daily Nightly").

The saloon set in "The Monkees In Texas" was previously used for Episode No. 7, "The Monkees In A Ghost Town," and No. 33, "It's A Nice Place To Visit... (a.k.a. "The Monkees In Mexico")". It will be used again as The Some Little Out Of The Way Place Where Nobody Goes Cafe in No. 56, "Some Like It Lukewarm" (a.k.a. "The Band Contest").

"The Monkees In Texas" is one of 10 Monkees episodes to use voice-over narration; others are No. 4, "Your Friendly Neighborhood Kidnappers", No. 32, "The Monkees On Tour", No. 37, "Art For Monkee's Sake", No. 38, "I Was A 99-lb. Weakling", No. 46, "The Monkees On The Wheel", No. 48, "The Fairy Tale", No. 49, "The Monkees Watch Their Feet", and No. 52, "The Devil And Peter Tork", and No. 57, "The Monkees Blow Their Minds".

The Monkees finished work on their fourth album, Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn, & Jones, LTD., at the same time this episode was produced.

"Words" and "Goin' Down", "The Monkees In Texas"'s featured tunes, are also the featured tunes of Episode No. 51, "The Monkee's Paw", in addition to being the flipsides of The Monkees' fourth and fifth singles, respectively.

"The Monkees In Texas" was denied rebroadcasts on CBS and/or ABC Saturday Afternoon because of their Broadcast Standards and Practices objecting to the use of handguns. A similar reason was why Episode No. 53, "The Monkees Race Again" (a.k.a. "Leave The Driving To Us"), wasn't shown on these networks as well.

The version of "The Monkees In Texas" included on the 1995 Deluxe Limited Edition Boxed Set, the select VHS release in 1996, and the 2003 Monkees - Season 2 boxed set is the Colex studio-struck syndicated print from 1986, as its original 35mm prints could not be located in time for it to be restored. Since then, however, a newly-restored, digitally-remastered version has surfaced, and made its first appearance on basic cable on July 4, 2015, on IFC. 

Trivia Footnote: An archived copy of the 1986 syndicated version of "The Monkees In Texas" at The Museum Of Broadcast Communications in Chicago has the 1960s NBC "peacock" opening and a Monkees commercial for Kellogg's Rice Krispies grafted onto it.

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